Stream of consciousness (read at your own risk lol)

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Consider this as a stream of consciousness here we go

There’s a lot of things going on around me but my mind is blank all the time perhaps this is a way of escaping from the many gaping realities that I am afraid to face i’d like to believe that this is just me trying to find my solace like you know how people want to clear their thoughts out and just be lazy as fuck but this is different i’ve been feeling lazy for the longest time that i don’t even know if i can still get up and open my eyes i feel so trapped in my own blank thoughts sometimes that i want to get rid of it but at the same time i want¬†to stay a little bit longer like six years long yeah that long.

Ever since i got a job back in 2010 i’ve been all about earning is this the repercussion of starting a career way too early i don’t know whenever i think about it i just spent two weeks of job hunting and then i found myself working already earning stuff for myself helping out with the expenses at home i really think that i started early and it’s such a double-edged sword i sometimes envy my colleagues who were able to get a vacation after graduation but i’m happy to have a stable job right before almost all of them had theirs it’s such a pool of conflicting thoughts but i really think that this is what started my gradual drown to blank thoughts and nothingness

Do i sound too hormonal yeah but i don’t care this has been bugging me for a long time that i think i should face it head on although i don’t think running away from where i am now wouldn’t help because you know i still got money on mind a house to pay for 30 fucking years two trips that i really want to push through and a whole bunch of internal disputes that need to be fucking settled once and for all for fucks sake hahaha cursing is such a comfort

I think i should channel what i get from my career to the things that i am passionate about i’ve seen other people do well with that so why can’t i like i can still engage in design music production literary pieces dancing while working from eight to five i want to steer my life in that direction that kind of balance is so highly absent from this life i have now i really don’t think i’m depressed i just need to settle things like arranging books from the shortest to tallest poor metaphor yeah but something like that

How do i get started i don’t know i want to be lazy and not lazy at the same time how fucking messed up is that hahahaha i can’t wait to get over this phase and actually have the time and energy to make things happen my way

I so wanna lose weight i’m kinda getting comfortable with the idea of going to the gym but wasn’t able to do so this week because i am so sociable hahaha wtf but yeah i’d like to shed some pounds and see some positive effects health-wise i’ve been a fucking pig for about 25 years perhaps it’s high time to be like what hmmm a cute dog i miss you lila i don’t wanna get too attached with dogs but everytime i see puppy eyes i just get emotional

It’s never too late i’m relatively young and there’s a lot to be discovered i wanna try stuff meet new people explore places pursue my passion(s) go see fucking Perfume before they get old and disband

I need to go home now and sleeeeeeeeeeep because i live an eight to five life and i can’t always be late for work haaaaaaaaaa my mind just emptied just now and somehow this punctuationless outburst calmed me a little bit should i do this often.

me and my runny nose, we out. ūüôā

 

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Why I Like K-Pop Music (amongst all other things, amirite?)

Rollercoaster

Some A good number Most of A lot Everybody knows that I am quite fond of Korean pop music or what most people who have heard it (and might have been baffled by it) may refer to as K-pop.

First things first though, I wholeheartedly believe that Korean pop music should not be identified as “K-pop” as a whole. K-pop or Hallyu goes beyond popular music – it encompasses a whole lot of other forms including¬†movies, television, clothing, and even food. I do understand though that referring to it as K-pop is very convenient. Heck, even those Korean expats who come here to the country to study English are called K-pop!

For scholarly (lol) and non-generalizing purposes, I would like to reiterate that I am greatly fond of Korean pop music or K-pop music. However, even that term has a lot of other components under it and I’ll try to get into it later.

Okay, now that I’m done with a rather useless babble hahaha, the question still remains: Why do I like Korean pop music? (right now I’m so tempted to use K-pop, damn you don’t even know)

I have tried crafting a concise and logical¬†explanation of why I have such strong feelings for the said musical genre but everytime I try doing so, I always end up with an answer that barely makes sense. It’s quite difficult to get your thoughts together on something that you really like, isn’t it?

Fortunately though, I came across an article from Billboard which could potentially explain my extreme indulgence with¬†K-pop music. The excerpt is from a Billboard interview with The Underdogs, a American music production team who recently has¬†started working with a lot of Korean pop music acts like Girls’ Generation (<3), TVXQ! and Exo, to name a few.

“We really enjoy working on the K-pop stuff because it allows you to be so creative,” Thomas reflects. “They are very open-minded about their music and it’s not as genre-specific as, a lot of times, American artists are. You can just really be creative, really try things and think outside the box musically. The sections in their songs can all be different, the lyrics can say unique things, it’s refreshing to work on artists like that.”

This is partially true, especially if you are looking at it from a producer’s perspective. However, there are facets to the Korean music industry that may also disprove what they just said.

For example, although it is true that these foreign producers are not confined to Top 40 fodder (that is prevalent in the West) when working with Korean artists, this “creative freedom” is still restrictive by default as the whole industry is a big business venture at the end of the day.

Korean pop music acts are controlled¬†by corporations and literally everything that comes in and out of these idols fall under radar of business moguls who always¬†have the final say on what or what should not be released. Although there are some acts that declare that they can produce their material on their own, the truth remains that you really can’t make it big¬†into the K-pop industry if you are not backed by a company. You could either end up an indie sensation or a social media viral hit (if luck plays on your side and this does not happen all the time). Such¬†may also be applicable in Western pop music, but¬†the level of control and restraint is wayyyyy different on this side of the earth. This framework is draining¬†to explain because of the many, interconnected aspects that are contained in it, but I hope you get my drift.

The Underdogs though are still correct when they mentioned that K-pop music is diverse. One may say that most K-pop songs are just derivations of past western musical trends but it’s not all that. A huge chunk of K-pop songs owe a lot of influence from their Eastern counterparts. An example of this would be the influx of bubblegum pop songs that clearly tips its hat to Japanese pop sensations. Think of those extremely sugary, cutesy, sunshine and butterflies songs – those that require the highest register of your voice. Songs like those will never hit the American airwaves not even during the 90s, but here in the East, it’s one of the best ways to get your name out there.

It may sound like a stretch but K-pop music has been very successful in merging both trends from the opposite sides of the planet and still make it sound like its their own. The urban, gritty sound of the west and the saccharine, innocent themes of the east are both present in the Korean music industry and both are able to shine on their own. I think that this is one of the factors that make the genre so global – there’s always something for everybody.

It’s only in K-pop music that I get to hear many songs tinged with¬†hip-hop, electronica, folk, jazz, dance, RnB, soul, video game music, trot, rock, dubstep, and any possible genre that there could be. They even sometimes mix all of these into a track and create an explosion of melodies! Right at this very moment, I’m currently listening to a song that is straight off a Broadway musical.

The diversity of Korean pop songs may be credited to the producers behind them but the front runners of this music industry aka the idols are just as important.

Korean pop music requires an open mind because it is an immersive experience. Like what I said earlier, the term “Korean pop music” has a lot of things under its plate and each of them serve purpose that pulls you in aka becoming a fan.

Any K-pop song is built upon a visual concept. This does not entirely have a direct correlation to the song and the lyrics. Rather, it’s purpose is to draw you in or basically, tease you. That is why a huge part of idol music promotions are the teaser images. This is where it all starts.

For example, the image below is a teaser for Girls’ Generation’s 2009 smash hit “Genie”.

Image credits: Soshified

In a nutshell, the song is about the group telling their man¬†that they can grant whatever wish that they have in mind being the genies that they are. So why go all¬†marines? Aside from an explanation (from the company of course) that the marine/military concept mean that the girls will “lead the way” to the fulfillment of their fantasies, it is a visually titillating image by itself. Look at them serving all those hot pants and legs. This group has basically built their fanbase by pandering to the male demographic, so something of this level of teasing is will surely work. (It may sound a little twisted but it has truth in it)

But the fun does not stop there because we still¬†haven’t watched their music videos!

You may like or dislike the teaser images or the song but the music videos may still pull you in. This is where another component comes into the picture – the dance. Some other songs may have catchy hooks or melodies but in K-pop music, the “hook” factor transcends further into choreography. You can hate the song but you will love dancing to it – that’s how they play it. As a result, they are still able to capture a portion of audiences that may not like the product that they are selling and it’s genius!

Kara’s Mister was a huge success thanks to its signature butt dance which got Koreans semi-twerking before it was relevant.

Korean pop music videos are also known for their budget and¬†quality that can even rival some movies. The diversity of the genre is again apparent here. They even go as far as using insanely creative treatments for their music videos. Some are even critiques on the industry itself (which is amazing because the as a genre, they can get meta and still be commercially viable). An example would be T-ara’s¬†dystopic sci-fi saga that serves¬†as a backdrop for a simple song about missing your lover.¬†¬†¬†

T-ara’s Day By Day music video can even stand on its own, with or without the song. The continuation of the video is paired with another song which talks about how sexy their lovers are lmao. I highly recommend watching the whole thing.

So why do I like Korean pop music again? Hahaha, I may have gone too far with a lengthy rant (that may require further research) but so far, I have two points in mind:

  1. It is a mixture of the creative and the manufactured, forming a unique kind of diversity;
  2. It is an immersive visual experience that can be translated in different facets.

I’m not expecting anyone who reads this to get into K-pop music as much as I do but I’d like it to be seen as a way of appreciating and understanding pop culture movements through the lens of a specific musical genre.¬†By the way, language is not an excuse to not get into K-pop music, I find that very shallow.

Well, here’s a bizarre and cute K-pop video to close this post because I can’t think of any other way to do so.

P.S: If you happen to stumble upon this post (which is unlikely) and you still don’t get it, well boohoo for you. Kidding! I’d love to start a discourse about this matter, so you can freely drop a comment here, ayt? I’m also planning to unleash all my K-pop music feels on a separate blog called The Bingsoo so be on the lookout for that. ^^

Spitballin’ Pt. 1

Rollercoaster

I’ll obviously skip the obligatory¬†hey-wazzap-bloggie-long-time-no-see-i’ll-post-more-i-promise¬†intro because who are we kidding? Hahahaha!

Oh wait, I just did!

This particular phase of my life, although something’s telling me that it’s crucial, still feels like a big blur still. The feeling has been lingering for almost three years now, I suppose.

Let’s put it this way: I don’t know how to feel about things. Does that make any sense at all? Hahahaha!

I feel like I have been going with the flow for the rest of my working life and I’ve been too submerged that I don’t know when to¬†stop. Is it okay that I just let myself go with the flow all the time? I really feel like nothing interesting is happening in my life and it bums me out!

Perhaps I should be thankful that my life is quite boring (I’m not sure if that’s the right term)? I mean, some people have it hard and I should be glad that I’m doing just fine? I really don’t know.

Or maybe I am just too lazy to list down and appreciate all the great things that have been happening in my life? Okay, let’s settle with that.

Let’s see:

I’ve invested in real estate – a small apartment to be exact. Just last month, I have fully paid the equity (I’d like to think that it’s the down payment) and now, I’m heading towards paying the amortization (which is quite ugh how do I say it – bonkers!). I’m so sorry if that bored you to death hahaha!

I’ve had some small drama with some former acquaintances (in this context, this person will be referred to as A,¬†#innovative). A lot¬†Some of our common friends have asked me why my presence was not felt¬†in A’s special life event. I really can’t answer that but it amuses me that they are looking for me. Oh stop it, you! But seriously, can’t blame A and his/her (guessy-guessy!) crew as to why they felt that they can go on without me, they’ve done that before! No, I kid. Perhaps we outgrew (?) each other, I’ll have to agree with that one. I couldn’t care about that much anymore but I still wish great things for A.

I’ve been visiting the gym since last year. Don’t expect a fitness success story from me because it ain’t gonna happen – just like how “fetch” is. I decided to go to the gym because I needed a breather from work. It is a great way to relieve stress and toxicity in the office. You can run on the treadmill and forget about the bulk of work you have to face the next day and just think about flying tacos or Singapore or having Pokemon as companions in real life – anything goes except office work! So very, very nice, isn’t it?

Speaking of work, I’ve got myself a new job. This is literally spoiled, spoiled, spoiled milk because I’ve¬†been¬†there for almost a year now. It is a great job – the learning opportunities are endless. The office is a melting pot of personalities – something that was not really present in my previous job (and that’s not really a good thing, btw). It is still a great office though and I think I’d stay for a little while – I hope they’d let me though.

While I still want to be where I am, career-wise, I’ve been meaning, wanting, craving to be somewhere else at the same time. It’s confusing but you know what I mean. I gave it a shot last March, but for someone who went to battle unprepared, I wouldn’t expect any great results. That’s okay though. I’ve come to realize that the things that are meant for you will be for you. When the right time and opportunity comes, it will be inescapable and you’ll love every second of it. So I’ll wait, give it a try every now and then and see where it will bring me.

As of now, I’d really want to pursue some of my passions. Just last week, I asked my friend if it was too late to learn piano. She said it wasn’t and I’m really interested. I also wanted to buy a new camera but unfortunately with my financial conditions and flop decisions, I can’t. I have always loved photography and just when I tried to turn my back on it, it just captured me again and again. I also wanted to blog about stuff that I like but I’ve been really, really lazy. My next post will be about that, so you just wait and see!

Yay, I won’t be that idle anymore!

You see, I’m just spitballing here – just speaking my mind like the random, clusterfucked homie that I am. I’m bad with concluding stuff so see you later, I guess?

Oh right, I also wanted a design overhaul for this blog and a concept for the other one. WOW!! Hahaha!

Fun Times Ahead

Rollercoaster

The inevitable just happened today Рmy thinning hair line got noticed! It started with my father, then my aunt, then my mother, and just recently, my boss decided to join in!

This is actually a very uncomfortable state for me to be in, because I don’t want to soak in the fact that IT is happening. I’ve always been confident in saying that I got my mother’s hair volume so I never expected that I’d experience something like this. But it’s happening, so what the hell?!?! As how my girl Liz Lemon of 30Rock would put it:

Yes, they are!

I can point out some possible culprits to this crime against my hair but I don’t know which one to blame. One thing’s clear though, again and again, this is all my doing! Hahahaha!

1.) Scratching my scalp – I have a bad case of dandruff and my scalp gets itchy all the time. Not doing anything about that is basically self-inflicted pain, so I always end up scratching and scratching. I don’t know if that has anything to do with my hair loss but at least I have a prospect criminal.

2.) My hair gel – I’ve been using that hair gum/cream from Bench to style my awkward hair. And since I don’t have the time to dry my hair every morning, I usually put it after I take a bath which reminds me – that could be the reason why it doesn’t keep my hair fixed because I apply it when my hair is still wet? I guess the chemicals that came with the product affected my hair. I seriously don’t know – I’m just spitballin’ here, okay?

3.) Alopecia – I have never heard of this term before not until earlier today when my boss mentioned it. According to the Internet, alopecia is a condition when the immune system attacks the hair follicles that control hair growth. Several sources online cannot point out a probable cause for alopecia except that it is hereditary. Other than that, everybody’s still wondering why there is beef between the hair follicles and the immune system. Hair pulling in crappy reality shows may have some justification at all – it happens and it’s real hair!!!

4.) Stress – I was just finding other factors to blame but my main culprit for this hair loss thingy would be stress. If this were Serial (check this podcast out), stress would be the Adnan Sayed in the story – guilty but still has a chance for an appeal (yay Adnan!).

I had this case back in college and I was able to remedy it by taking in Stresstabs so I’m quite confident in pointing this out as the possible cause of my thinning hair line.

Am I stressed though? Well, the answer is YES! Oh yes, I am stressed as fuck.¬†Those stress balls can try but they won’t work, that’s for sure. Now I want to squeeze some argghhh!

This stressful feeling comes from different directions it’s crazy. My boss asked me if it has something to do with work and with all honesty, the answer is NO. My current work is more fast-paced and dynamic than my previous one but that can be resolved with balancing and allocating time properly. I’m in a very smart and sometimes intimidating team (and organization) but at the end of the day, all I want is to learn from them – even if at times it messes with my delicate and low self-esteem. I’ve managed it somehow that I almost forgot that it’s been a year since I left CX. Awesomesauce!

I can actually point out the things that stress me out and it’s on a personal level. For starters, my lack of sleep. I’m not an insomniac per se (I think) because when I’m sleepy, I sleep. It’s just that I get stuck on the Internet that a portion of my resting time goes to watching and listening to K-Pop, playing Pokemon and more nonsensical stuff. Unfortunately, this is a preference and I plan to slowly atone it by at least sleeping a little earlier than before.

My lack of sleep is coupled with my traveling hours to work. I’ve sustained four years of traveling the extreme points of Davao (southern homie here) on a daily basis but this time, there’s just a lot of people here in Davao! Traffic jams get worse by the day and for some reason, the traffic lights on the main intersections where the¬†huge flow of vehicles come in are always defective. What colossal trolling is that?!?! Sometimes, land transpo in Toril run out especially on rush hours so a lot of us have to wait for them to come back home.

I have a strong feeling towards blaming this extended traveling hours to work as a main cause of my stress but what can I do? Live with it. Duh.

I’ve also been very anxious with my life choices lately and this has something to do with my plans for the future. A huge chunk of them involves financial matters for a huge-scale investment that I recently delved in. It is stressful in a way that it is quite an investment but I don’t consider it a wrong move. At least, a portion of what I save and earn goes to something that I can use in the not so distant future.

As the last stretch of this year’s first quarter approaches, I will be embarking on an adventure that might steer the course of my current state to a different direction. This is a very uncertain phase but I am tackling it nonetheless. Luck may be on my side, who knows? Those gigantic astrological guides at malls somehow support my cause and that’s a comforting notion.

It’s stressful but this I know – fun times are ahead. Some things are not worth looking forward to if you don’t get messed up along the way. Oh, the dissonance! Hahaha!

These events in my life as of now are coming up altogether at the same time that it’s overwhelming. But I feel that I’ll be able to sort and iron things out later. This optimistic feeling – I don’t know where this is coming from but it’s good that I have it, even if it’s just in small portions.

#funtimesahead

In my mind

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In my mind, I¬†said to myself that I would not waste a few sentences gravitating on¬†the fact that I have not been on this blog for two years. Two solid years! I mean, it is quite obvious when you backtrack and notice the gap between the two posts so highlighting it would not do anything since you cannot pull the clock’s hands back and make it seem like the dates of your last and recent blog posts are closer and¬†imply that¬†you have been active on this database when the cold truth is that you have not been.

And then I go waste some! (the last one was basically a run-on sentence that I thought would never end). Well, life is a freaking irony!

How I find it amusing that there are thoughts in my mind is beyond me. It just felt so refreshing and eerily weird at the same time. I mean, it dawned on me when I was about to sleep! At first I was like “Wow, some awesome shit just came in” and then just a few seconds later, a big yawn and the bed becomes way too inviting to resist. How are you supposed to deal with that? So many conflicting feelings right¬†now.

But as how netizens would put it in our native tongue, “Atik wruh!”. Obviously, I am awake and fully unable to suppress the urge¬†to tell the things that are in my mind. For some strange reason, I was drawn to this blog – to this tiny domain that I can actually call mine. I began to appreciate its whole purpose and existence all over again. Damn, my blog sounds like some riveting, intense stuff that can change lives.

It kinda is – at least for me.

There are a lot of things in my mind. Not those dailies that I’ll end up facing the day after but thoughts that help me get to know myself better. Introspection, as they fancily call it. Now that I “introspected” (I would like to believe that I just invented a verb a few words ago btw)¬†about it, I think I have been just too lazy that I wasn’t even able to ponder on¬†my own deep thoughts let alone acknowledge them.

Sudden surge of WOW. Psshh! Mind blown but thoughts not scattered. Much wow.

Anyway, my thoughts come in small, random encounters but they carry a deeper meaning after of course taking some time to introspect it. I’m sure that’s how it works for the rest of you, I’m just trying to make it sound like it’s mine alone because it is my blog and I don’t think you are in a position to reprimand me on something that is derived from my mind…wait what?

Any…hmmm redundant… Someway, the smallest lemons in our lives provide the juiciest lemonade that may quench our thirst in ways we never thought of. Like for example, I recently have been more tolerant of spicy food. I suddenly am on the bandwagon of people who believe that anything with a spicy tinge ends up tasty. “What does that say of me?”, I kept on asking myself because I firmly believe that there is something about that palate shift. Could it be because I have an affinity to a particular cluster of Korean culture that I totally forgot¬†how spicy their cuisine is? Well not really because the restaurants here in Davao allow mild spicy flavors.

I have yet to dig deeper. Gah, this is tiring!

And so I dig. Perhaps I already overcame a trauma towards spicy food that goes way back when I was 8. Wow, 16 years of trying to avoid something that I used to hate. Life is pretty amazing.

My favorite brand of canned tuna products had a hot & spicy variety. ¬†On that sari-sari store, they stocked up on the brand with its different flavors – Adobo, Afritada, Calderata, Mechado, and Hot and Spicy. They must have been tipped by someone that a certain 8-year old is a fan of such brand so they need have those or else that kid might go to the nearest competitor instead. Anyway, being the curious me¬†who loved Blue Bay (there!), my attention was drawn to that new flavor. I was thinking that this one must be good because all of their products are always good. Without any hesitation, I asked Ate Roni “Ilan po yang Blue Bay na Hot and Spicy?” to which she replied¬†“Magkano, hindi ilan!”. Instant Tagalog pronoun lesson and my favorite brand of tuna – there was no reason not to buy!

So I was all giddy to have Blue Bay Hot & Spicy for lunch thinking that it¬†will be one of the best lunches that I will ever have – only to find out that it was otherwise. Why? Because the whole thing was a bundle of canned chili disguised as tuna! If I was familiar with Internet slang back then, I would’ve screamed a huge “WTF?!!?!”. It was way too spicy for me to bear! The ratio of rice to viand was greatly disproportionate at that time as I was not able to finish my whole meal. That was very traumatic and I was 8, so that must be something right? From then on, I chose not to eat any hot and spicy flavored food thinking that I’ll never be able to finish it.

Speed up to 16 years later and some spicy pork stew from a Korean restaurant, I was more receptive of the flavor. What was that? Is that some kind of emotional/cognitive maturation on my part? What happened in between those years? I really don’t know and I hate to speak for myself (this I have to ponder for some other time btw). All I know was that stew was yummy af and¬†I love it! Next thing you know, I was already including spicy noodles on my grocery list, ordering spicy flavored foods, and looking hot as hell (hahaha wut) – in other words, the chili bandwagon just got a returning passenger occupying half a seat.

And now I ask, HOW?!?! Time to introspect! Bye!

f/

Jerk

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Whenever I try to look back on some fond memories in my life, I can’t help but giggle on the fact that on one of those fragments, I was once the jerk.¬† That antagonistic, trolling, inconsiderate jerk.

Image

Why do I say that I giggle then? Apart from the fact that I pulled it off like a sir (chos), I somehow appreciated the fact that I have been one…but never remained as one.¬† I guess that is a part of my learning curve in life.¬† My sensitivity levels were upgraded to cater to more situations that would require me to not be a jerk, thus letting me be a (what I think and feel) better person towards all of you.

However, I am well aware that my jerkiness would still be a part of me.¬† I think this applies to all of us.¬† You become a jerk with or without intending to become one.¬† You become a pain in someone’s ass every now and then.¬† That is something you just can’t get rid off even with your supposedly insane levels of sensitivity and consideration.¬† It’s like having boogers, you get them when things get a little dusty, you can just scrape it off but do not forget to anticipate that they’ll be back someday.

I have learned that being a jerk I think is entailed with the fact that your emotions, beliefs, standards, and whatnot collide with the emotions, beliefs, and standards of others.¬† That is why you end up being a jerk without really meaning to become one.¬† Of course, you would have to succumb to your own mantra and once you think that it somehow produces a collision with others, you try as much as possible to let yours prevail.¬† It’s not really being selfish but more of becoming steadfast.¬† The challenge there is to seek for a common ground in which you can synchronize and synergize.¬† Of the many encounters in my life, I think I am in need of a little more sync and synergy. Hahaha!

P.S:¬† I am starting to like this phase in my life now.¬† It feels like I have been slowly decrypting the inner machinations of my mind (Starr reference ftw), heart, body, and soul and uncovering a lot of interesting nitty-gritty stuff.¬† I don’t have an idea of what phase would come next, but this point of discovery and realizations make me appreciate the awesomeness of the world in ways that I have never thought of before.¬† Thank you very much (bow) (clap clap).

Update!!!

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Look at that last update!!! Hahahahaha!

Why, hello there! My last blog update was so 2011 so I guess it is time for some revamp. ¬†Well, as you may have noticed, I have shifted from that ultra colorful coffee-stain-based theme to this minimalist, violence-inducing one. ¬†The derivation of that theme came from some reasons that can be labeled as “unknown”. ¬†I would have to insinuate in advance though that my preference for this motif does not suggest any interest that I have in violence or in inflicting it to those that I abhor the most. ¬†Rather, this change of theme is brought about by the pressure of feeling so outdated in terms of blog page progression, thus coming up with any random stuff that can be tagged as “visually satisfactory” (of course, that is based on my enormously high standards).

GAH, I’m ranting.

It has actually been a long time since I updated this blog. ¬†Backreading, I can hear myself saying that this is my digital HDD wherein I can store all my memories of this and that. ¬†Unfortunately, it seems that I have suffered a very bad case of amnesia since this portal does not contain anything at all. ¬†As to whether that amnesia is intentional or not, it is none of your business. ¬†It’s not even my business, how the hell would it be yours? ūüėõ

In that case, I would like to add updates to this page and that will start in the next paragraph.

How have I been? ¬†Hmmmm, I don’t have any revolutionary answer as of now. ¬†That goes to say that I am still the same me (as far as I’m concerned) and that the only thing building up on me is my weight. ¬†Okay, for the past 15 years, I have been seeing myself a little lightweight in comparison to others but the truth suggests that I am not and I am probably close to being or exceeding those who I see as horizontally advantaged. ¬†In other words (as a girl would commonly blurt out), I’M GETTING FATTER EVERYDAY OH FO SHIZZLE DIZZLE!!! ūüė¶

And this time actually, I am scared.  If I try to look back on what I have been eating the past week, I could die.  Hahaha, you see, you can also have the right to not dwell in the past.  My food intake over the weekend goes a little something like this:

Friday – lunch was sponsored by office, grilled pork ribs and pork barbecue
dinner- went out with some friends and ate at our fave ngohiong house (we ate liempo)

Saturday – lunch was my fave combination-corned tuna and rice with milo
dinner was liempo (courtesy of mama)

Sunday – had fish for lunch (yay!)
dinner was supposed to be just oatmeal and biscuits (pambawi) but then father brought home some tuna spread and made a clubhouse sandwich out of it plus my cousin bringing in some pork barbecue.

SEE? I DIED FOR A MOMENT AND WENT BACK TO FINISH THE REST OF THIS BLOG ENTRY.

I kinda like the idea that I am getting a little health conscious by the day. ¬†The thing I hate is that I can’t resist myself from doing things that can cause risks to my health. ¬†Honestly sometimes, I can feel my heart clogging. ¬†Eeek, so dangerous and gets me all the time.

So I guess I will be focusing on improving my health for the rest of the year.  You just cannot let go of some opportunities because your health is pulling you back.  That is what I realized.  As to how will I start, that will remain as a mystery (lolwut?!) but I will really try my best to make it work.  CROSS FINGERS EVERYBODY!  bwahahaha!

It is nice to update you once in a while though. ¬†Cheers to consistency! ūüėÄ

f/